I'm not sure.

You know the feeling you get in your stomach when you're seated in the first car of the most gigantic incredible roller coaster you've ever dared attempt? Anticipation swelling, time into overdrive, consuming your whole body for that single instant, before that last crank queuing the drop that sends adrenaline rushing to your brain to clear every emotion? Well, with or without a roller coaster, i'll find a way to look fate in the eye and say "bring it on".

I'm at the point where I'm happy, motivated, inspired, but yet I've reached a low that I know I can push back into the corners of my mind.. but I'm not sure if I want to. It's incredible how addicting ruining yourself can get.

i'm gonna work until my bones break.

inspired. motivated. pushing self.

i. can. do. this.

its never to late to be what you might have been.

yea, well i worry that what i could have been has given me the middle finger and ran for the hills. i dont know where to go. i have no fucking clue how im going to make it out of school alive. i just dont fucking know where i am anymore. who i am. what the hell im doing.

ive never been so scared in my life.

goodness do i love you.

=]

Got to see my baby tonight. Which made me ver happy. I love you, Lexi.<3

Also got to chill with Breezy. And tomorrow I'm chillin with Breezy and Wes! =D

Huzzah.

organ-ization

School. Weekend Plans. Goals.

Thursday; Wes Breezy Norah in the a.m. (?)
Friday; a.m.-Wes p.m.- ALBANYALBANYALBANY
Saturday; State @ Platteville, State Street w/ Marilyn @ 6pm(?)
Sunday; Ehhhhhh, Homework.

This post was pointless.

Just need to organize my life and make plans and make sure the plans will work.

I think that's some sort of sign that I like to have control.

.red bleed love let

"Oh, here, where we lie, outstretched to wonder why we don't belong.
You deserve much more, and I'll give until I'm all gone.
Forever know your face, but never take your place here by my side;
like a ghost into the night,
the poison apple to my bite,
I'll be the shadow at your door,
I'll be the moth into your light,
'cause you deserve much more."

0102614

I very much think that this will be wonderful, and in time people will agree.

Tomorrow's gonna be a blast, going into McFarland right after school 'til around seven, seven30ish. My tummy has been upsetting me all day. And I've randomly been getting these bursts of adrenaline. Not very appreciative of this, body. >.<

I am in love with Before Their Eyes' new album Untouchable. It is completely fantastic.
I've got nothing really interesting to post lately; just random stuff that goes through my mind.

Buh.

damn tacos.

i've eaten so much food over the past three days i think imma esplode Dx

off to walmart!

Weekend Ends, Week Begins.

God, I love South Bend. I love Breezy's Mom and Mike. And Court, most definitely my favorite 8th grader.

School week = Mon-Wed; short week, long weekend. I'm looking forward to this.
420isontuesdayandi'mgoingtomcfarland :x <3

Yep. Learning to keep this motivation, learning to keep a smile on my face regardless of how un-smiley I'm feeling, learning to keep marching on through all this bullshit.

Screw mood swings, missing, and long nights.

I can hardly stand without seeing you for the whole five days of the school week, but going thirteen days?

You're my other half.
What sparks my motivation to get up and actually try to accomplish something during the day.
The one person whom I'm thoroughly comfortable with everything.
I don't feel like I have to hide anything at all from you.
'Cos I know you'll understand, and you'll always love me and be here for me.
My Best Friend.
Nothing feels content, or right whenever I'm stuck in this fucking town without you.
I love you more than anything and everything on this god damned planet.

I hate feeling like this.

I've realized that I kind of forget about people that aren't major priorities in my life. Then they come back and are all "What the hell?" And all I can say is, "Sorry, I kind of lost motivation and forgot about you...?"
Buh, aren't I just the most considerate person ever.

Tonight was clear skies, mildly warm air, and neighbor's sprinklers were running. I couldn't help but go outside on a walk, and thus sparked the memories of July '09, you filthy bastard; you're coming back to haunt me. I would write a whole new post on July, but it'd tear me apart too much to dig up emotions and memories. Fuck you, Asheville. Fuck you, deception. Fuck you, emotions. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

I'm going to bed. and I'm gonna make tomorrow a fucking amazing day; whether it kills me or not...or try to at least.

P.S. It's amazing how a simple "I love you." from the right person can make your night that much enjoyable. Thank you.

My Inspiration.

<3

weownthesky

I hate how bipolar I am about some stuff.
But with this new option, I realize that it's a very very veryveryveryasdlfyusdlf very, wonderful comprise that I am positive will make things so much more wonderful.

I love you.
<4

IT'D ALSO BE REALLY COOL AND STUFFS IF I COULD GIVE JAKE TO THE GARBAGE MEN.
So so so so so annoying.

I am the Luckiest.

I'm taking a break from the rest of the world for a while.
Focusing on self medicating and sticking to plans while ringing in success in time for summer2010. (:

I love my English class. I sincerely do. Spencer is so good to me. Thank you. <333

I love K'naan. Very very much. And Bright Eyes. Oh, and You. <4

Lightning and heart beats.

You make me feel so alive.

4/5/2010

I just got the random smell of pineapple in my nose... o.O

But it's Monday, and I get to see you. (:
Fine arts week is this week. Fuck. Yes.

When I get older, I will be stronger

They'll call me Freedom, just like a wavin' flag.


Home from Amboy - I am DEFINITELY going back this summer. I love my new friends. (:
-Savana
-Travis
-Travis
-Brooke
-Ho
-Matthew

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxWX1yGcsHQ
AMAZINGSONG X92358

I love you, Wesley Eric Lethem. <3

Going to Lexi's soon. Sitting here in my underwear. Mom just gave me shit popcorn to feed Lexi later. >:D Meheheeh.

Fuck I love life right now.