all my life i've wanted to be somebody, and here i am

Suzi Quatro, oh how fantastic you are.

Today I woke up and could hardly breathe without wanting to cry out in pain. The fucking humidity and broken air conditioning is killing me. Also, I can't find my iPod. >.> Hoorah for bitching!

I <3 The Stooges.
I feel like I've been born into the wrong time era sometimes. My hunger for adrenaline has been waiting long enough for it's fill. Tomorrow I'm going to let loose and get my heart pumping like a hummingbird's. As for today? Might go into Monona, or McFarland. Decisions, decisions..

-happiness-

there's something about the south and old music that stirs my spirit in the direction of being free. <3

Yesterday was fantastic. Hungout with Bill and Joe in Monona all day, then went to Bills' family's party, while Bill played bass, Joe and I decided to go on a walk around this huge field. We saw the first fireworks of the night, and Joe found a plantation? Haha, it was quite the sight. Later, Bill Joe and I jumped on the trampoline to the music from the Avatar Soundtrack and watched the fireworks. When we got back to Monona, Bill had to wait with me at the Dream Park for my mom to get out of 1234234 hours of traffic in Madison to pick me up. While we were waiting we saw many drunk individuals whom were quite hysterical (x Aside from being eaten alive by mosquitoes, laughing my poor little ass of @ Bill and Joe's "no-homo" moments, and watching them be "sooo big" by eating everything there, it was quite the memorable evening. (:

Hopefully, today Anna and I will have a rather lovely time on State Street and the rain won't come until later.

When Happiness and Confusion mix, it's kind of.. sad. How can someone be happy, but at the some time conflicted by confusion and just. alksdjflasdkfj
ooph.

so much more than we can comprehend.

Who knew that four letters and one syllable could mean so much.
June -
End of school
Start of summer fever
Meeting up with friends you haven't seen in a while
Becoming distant with others...
R.I.P. Tori Braun, Sean White, and Amanda Nowicki
Fucking regret.

People say that you should never regret things that have happened in your past, for they have brought you to where you are today.
Fuck. That. If I wasn't so fucking stupid, I would have stopped myself. I knew how much pain that would bring, yet I kept going. I knew all his lies, yet I kept on believing. And I still let him suck the fucking nectar from my heart like a goddamn famished mother fucking butterfly.

I miss you so much, Tori. You were my first real friend in sixth grade. You taught me how to have fun and be myself. You were the first person who appreciated me for who I was and didn't try to change me to your own personal liking. I remember when I touched your sister's hedgehog and we tried to use bandaids to make it feel better. I remember when we went to that haunted house and got the shit scared out of us. I remember when you, Sam, Mariah and I all dubbed ourselves a member of My Chemical Romance. I remember when you helped me make my first MySpace page. I remember talking to you out on the street and you telling me about how you love being numb, and how if you were to die today it'd be fine with you; because you were happy in your own little world. I remember our last cigarette together. You told me about how it's dumb how people are too paranoid about cops, and I told you I liked your green tie dye sweater-thing. :) You were a beautiful individual. I can't believe you're gone. I'll always love you, girl. And miss you so much.
With love, forever; Frank Iero. <3

I have not

posted
in
a
while.

so much has changed.
so much, that i'm surprisingly genuinely content with.

"i felt it in my heart, that it was time, a change of scenery; to get a little lost, to feel alive, and reach beyond me."

it's going to be one damn good summer.

It appears,

I have not posted in a while.
(Darian, if you read this, I'd just like to say that I miss you, your gorgeous beautiful soul, and our friendship we had.)

Anywho, I've become addicted to sin. I was told earlier this week, by a person who does not let anyone influence him, that I'm a fairly powerful, and bad influence to him; but that he doesn't mind. That made me happy. I'm addicted to Lexi, and the utter nirvana we possess when we're with eachother. Basically, our specialty is being the epicenter of recklessness; and we will go to whatever lengths it takes to reach so. She is my baby. You fuck with her, I will end you. I miss her so much. I won't be able to see her for 2 weeks.

0102614<3 Lust is a powerful thing.

The sun will be back tomorrow. I've missed it, oh so much.

I'm not sure.

You know the feeling you get in your stomach when you're seated in the first car of the most gigantic incredible roller coaster you've ever dared attempt? Anticipation swelling, time into overdrive, consuming your whole body for that single instant, before that last crank queuing the drop that sends adrenaline rushing to your brain to clear every emotion? Well, with or without a roller coaster, i'll find a way to look fate in the eye and say "bring it on".

I'm at the point where I'm happy, motivated, inspired, but yet I've reached a low that I know I can push back into the corners of my mind.. but I'm not sure if I want to. It's incredible how addicting ruining yourself can get.

i'm gonna work until my bones break.

inspired. motivated. pushing self.

i. can. do. this.